Don’t Have Time to Read the Bestselling Book on Feedback? I gotchu.

First, Let's Meet the Authors

Douglas and Sheila are both lecturers on Law at Harvard Law School and cofounders of Triad Consulting. They've worked with some pretty big time players like the White House, Citigroup, Honda, Johnson & Johnson, Time Warner, and Unilever. So yeah, they've got some experience working with big players and getting feedback from important people. They decided to take their experiences and break it down into an easily digestible and comprehensive look at giving and receiving feedback. Here are my 8 takeaways from the book.

These feedback principles are especially valuable for creators using tools like Adalo (Adalo is a no-code app builder for database-driven web apps and native iOS and Android apps—one version across all three platforms, published to the Apple App Store and Google Play.) to build and launch their own applications. When you're developing an app, feedback from users and stakeholders becomes essential to creating something people actually want to use.

Lesson #1: Don't Feel Badly If You're Conflicted about Feedback

The book begins by taking a look at how humans and feedback have evolved together. One of the important aspects that sets humans apart from other animals is our natural curiosity and desire to learn new things. This means that we should love feedback. It's helping us learn new things! Right?

Yes, but then how come we don't? That's because there's another force—our desire to belong in the herd—that we've been programmed to follow. This second force is in direct competition with our desire to learn. Humans are social creatures and when we receive negative feedback, we take that as a sign that we don't belong.

So don't feel badly if you're conflicted about asking for feedback. We're wired that way. Understanding this internal conflict is the first step toward becoming better at receiving feedback, whether it's about your work, your ideas, or even the apps you're building.

Lesson #2: The Most Important Role in Feedback is the Receiver

This might sound obvious but there are actually two parties involved in the feedback process: the giver and the receiver. Douglas and Sheila make the argument that the most important party involved is the receiver. The reason is that it's the receiver's responsibility to understand the feedback. This means that if you're the one looking for feedback you can't blame the giver because you disagree with what they say (which we all do sometimes); it's your job to figure out what that person meant.

On top of the receiver's responsibility to understand the feedback, it's also their job to choose what to do with the feedback. And while I can definitely hear some of you out there crying—"That's not true! My boss tells me what to do."—we have to strive to remember that at the end of the day the person asking for feedback is the person doing the work, so they're in control. Don't let the HiPPOs (highest paid person's opinion) boss you around!

It doesn't matter how much authority or power a feedback giver has; the receivers are in control of what they do and don't let in, how they make sense of what they're hearing, and whether they choose to respond.

This principle applies whether you're receiving feedback on a presentation, a business strategy, or an app you've built. The receiver ultimately decides what changes to make and which suggestions to implement.

Lesson #3: It's Important to Know the Three Triggers That Block Us From Great Feedback

Douglas and Sheila spent years looking at difficult feedback conversations in order to identify three things that trigger us when we receive negative feedback:

The book is then broken down into three parts, looking at how to prevent these three triggers. Understanding these triggers is essential for anyone who regularly receives feedback—which is basically everyone in a professional setting.

Lesson #4: [Preventing the Truth Trigger] Understand What You Don't Agree With

We've all gotten feedback that we think is wrong. Sometimes this feedback is simply not true, but Douglas and Sheila say more often than not, it actually is true; we just don't understand it. In order to prevent the Truth Trigger, we must first make sure we truly understand the feedback before we evaluate it.

What caused the person giving the feedback to think this way? What do they see that we don't? We have to keep asking for more information and follow up with them in a different setting if we still don't understand or agree with it.

Additionally, as part of this understanding process, we have to take a look at our own actions. During our presentation maybe we left out a crucial piece of information or maybe we offended someone at the beginning so they responded emotionally. Looking at our own actions can help us get on the same page.

Before we determine whether feedback is right or wrong, we first have to understand it. That sounds pretty obvious, but in fact, we usually skip understanding and dive in with instant judgements.

This is particularly relevant when building products or apps. User feedback might seem off-base at first, but often reveals blind spots in your design that you couldn't see from the inside.

Lesson #5: [Preventing the Relationship Trigger] Understand Your Relationship with the Giver

This one's a biggie. In every feedback conversation, there's a dynamic between you and the person giving you feedback. They may be the CEO or they might be the summer intern. Or maybe they are the coworker that always rubs you the wrong way.

But just because we don't like someone or just because they don't have much experience, that doesn't mean their thoughts are wrong. In order to stop this kind of bias, we have to be honest with ourselves and understand how we feel about the person giving us feedback. When we understand our own biases, we can work to overcome them.

Consider this: some of the most valuable feedback on your app might come from users who aren't tech-savvy or who approach your product differently than you expected. Their perspective, while different from yours, often reveals usability issues that power users would never notice.

Lesson #6: [My Favorite One!] Avoid 'Switchtracking'

In the Relationship Trigger portion of the book, Douglas and Sheila bring up a concept they call 'switchtracking.' I actually think this concept is so important and broader than just relationships that I think it should be its own trigger.

Switchtracking happens when you're discussing one point of feedback, but then another point sneakily worms its way into the conversation before the first one is resolved. So at this point, you're talking about two different issues in one conversation. And it often doesn't stop at just two issues. With so much going on, it's difficult to sort through the feedback.

After being introduced to this concept, I can't tell you how often I see it happening—which is why I'm so grateful for the solution they advise. In order to stop 'switchtracking,' you must:

  1. Immediately pause the conversation
  2. Alert everyone to the different issues you're talking about
  3. Steer the conversation through one issue at a time

This technique is invaluable in product development meetings where feedback sessions can quickly spiral into discussions about multiple features, bugs, and design decisions simultaneously. Keeping conversations focused on one issue at a time leads to clearer resolutions and better outcomes.

Lesson #7: [Preventing the Identity Trigger] Understand the Difference Between You and Your Work

Let's say you're an architect, and you identify with being thoughtful towards people with disabilities, but then in a feedback session, someone says that you didn't consider accessibility in your building plans—implying that you don't care about people with disabilities. This would strike at your core. You don't want your colleagues to think of you this way! So you shut down, and stop asking for more feedback.

This is when you need an attitude adjustment. You have to remember that people are critiquing your work, not you. Making this attitude change moves you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. With a growth mindset, you begin to be aware of your emotions during feedback sessions.

Sometimes you've just had a crappy day, and that's okay, but know that this negative attitude could affect how you respond. Put aside the feedback and wait to respond when you're feeling better.

As feedback receivers, we are always sorting feedback into coaching and evaluation bins. Your choice of bin makes a huge difference in your ability to take feedback productively. The reason is this: while identity is easily triggered by evaluation, it is far less threatened by coaching.

This distinction is crucial for creators and builders. When someone critiques your app, your design, or your business idea, they're not saying you're a bad person or incompetent—they're offering observations about the work itself. Separating your identity from your output allows you to hear feedback clearly and use it constructively.

Lesson #8: Make a Plan and Close the Loop

The final portion of the book is full of more great insights, though it's not as organized as the other three sections. My main takeaway from the end was that the receiver needs to clearly communicate what they're going to do next. This might be:

This sounds pretty straightforward, but with so much feedback coming at you, it's easy to forget. Closing the loop serves two purposes: it helps you stay accountable to the feedback you've received, and it shows the giver that their input was valued and considered—even if you ultimately decided not to act on it.

In app development, this might look like creating a feedback log where you track user suggestions, your evaluation of each one, and your decision about whether to implement changes. This systematic approach ensures nothing falls through the cracks and helps you prioritize improvements based on actual user needs.

Applying Feedback Principles to App Building

These feedback principles become especially valuable when you're building products that real users will interact with. Whether you're creating an internal tool for your team or a consumer-facing app, user feedback is the lifeblood of product improvement.

Modern app builders make it easier than ever to incorporate feedback mechanisms directly into your products. You can add surveys, comment sections, rating systems, and user input forms that help you collect, organize, and respond to user input systematically. Building these feedback loops into your app from the start creates a continuous improvement cycle.

Adalo, an AI-powered app builder, enables you to create these feedback collection features without writing code. With over 3 million apps created on the platform, builders have found that incorporating user feedback early and often leads to better products. The platform's drag-and-drop interface—described as "easy as PowerPoint"—means you can quickly iterate based on what users tell you.

The key is treating user feedback the same way Douglas and Sheila recommend treating any feedback: understand it fully before evaluating it, recognize your own biases, avoid switchtracking between multiple issues, and separate your identity from your work.

Final Thoughts

Overall, the book was a really great read. It was full of both new ideas and actionable takeaways that I've already implemented in my own feedback process. My only major complaint with the book was that, at times, it felt a little too focused on the individual feedback process without really tackling how to get better at feedback at the organizational level.

With that being said, its in-depth look at feedback is by far more thorough than any other book I've read on the topic. If your job involves receiving feedback on a weekly basis (which most do in some fashion), I would definitely recommend picking up a copy of this book. There were definitely more concepts that I didn't have time to cover in the post.

Lastly, I'll leave you with my favorite quote from the book:

Effective assertion hinges on a key mindset shift: You aren't seeking to persuade the giver that you are right. You're not trying to replace their truth with your truth. Instead, you're adding what's 'left out.' And what's most often left out is your data, your interpretations, and your feelings.

FAQ

Why choose Adalo over other app building solutions?

Adalo is an AI-powered app builder that creates true native iOS and Android apps from a single codebase. Unlike web wrappers, it compiles to native code and publishes directly to both the Apple App Store and Google Play Store. With unlimited database records on paid plans and no usage-based charges, you won't face unexpected costs as your app grows.

What's the fastest way to build and publish an app to the App Store?

Ada, Adalo's AI builder, lets you describe what you want and generates your app. Magic Start creates complete app foundations from a description, while Magic Add adds features through natural language.

Adalo's drag-and-drop interface and AI-assisted building let you go from idea to published app in days rather than months. Magic Start generates complete app foundations from a simple description, and the platform handles the complex App Store submission process so you can focus on your app's features and user experience.

Can I easily build an app that incorporates user feedback features?

Yes, with Adalo you can easily build apps with robust feedback features like surveys, comment sections, rating systems, and user input forms. You can create database-driven feedback loops that help you collect, organize, and respond to user input without writing any code.

What are the three triggers that block us from receiving great feedback?

According to the book, there are three main triggers: Truth Triggers (when you think feedback is untrue and dismiss it), Relationship Triggers (when you view the feedback giver negatively and dismiss their input), and Identity Triggers (when feedback affects you personally and makes you question your identity). Understanding these triggers is the first step to overcoming them.

What is 'switchtracking' and how can I avoid it?

Switchtracking occurs when multiple issues sneak into a feedback conversation before the first one is resolved, making it difficult to address any topic thoroughly. To prevent it, immediately pause the conversation, identify all the different issues being discussed, and then address each one separately and systematically.

Why is the receiver considered the most important role in feedback?

The receiver is most important because they're responsible for understanding the feedback and choosing what to do with it. Regardless of who gives the feedback or their authority level, the receiver ultimately controls what they accept, how they interpret it, and whether they act on it.

How can I separate my identity from my work when receiving feedback?

Remember that people are critiquing your work, not you as a person. This mindset shift moves you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Be aware of your emotions during feedback sessions, and if you're having a difficult day, set aside the feedback and respond when you're in a better headspace.

How do I close the loop after receiving feedback?

Clearly communicate what you're going to do next—whether that's implementing the suggestion, gathering more information, or respectfully declining to make changes. This accountability helps you track feedback systematically and shows givers that their input was valued and considered.